OLD ASIAN LADY AT THE CROSSWALK
I was just at the crosswalk and an old Asian lady was next to me carrying a plastic bag of empty cans and water bottles. I thought she was homeless and I was in a good mood, so I pulled out $5.00 to give to her. She shook her head and said "No thank you, it's alright." I wasn't expecting that and now I'm pretty sure she wasn't homeless, just recycling with really bad teeth.
She probably has a huge house and an 850 credit score. Then it was just awkward silence as we crossed the street together. The people in their cars watching probably thought I asked her for some sort of weird sexual favor and she refused because I only offered $5.00. Sorry old Asian lady for ruining your day, but you really should floss you're making it fucking confusing out here.