I'm Parked Near a Tree
My older brother told me I could call him if I was ever in trouble and he wouldn’t ask any questions. It happened once back in college. My friend hit me up, “I got some THC pills from a guy at work. There’s 15 of them and you can have them.” I didn’t even smoke like that, but they were free. I picked them up and he said, “The guy said just take 1-2 pills.” I got home and my cousin took two. A little later I asked, “You feeling anything?” He said, “nah, not really.”
I left to pick up my friend Gabe to go out that night. I said, “I got these THC pills, but they must be expired because my cousin didn’t feel anything. Let’s just finish the rest. I’ll take 7 and you take 6.” He said cool and we went to Del Taco. I started passing out in the drive-thru. I forgot we even took them. I said, “I don’t know why I’m so tired. You drive.”
Gabe hopped in the driver’s seat, we got our order, and headed towards the freeway. I started eating and looked over. Gabe was making the tacos on his lap, picking out hot sauce out of the bag, and eating like he was at a dinner table. I was like, “that’s cool, we’re eating. Wait…who’s driving?” I look up and I was the highest I had ever been in my life. Outside looked like a video game, like I was inside of Super Mario Brother’s 3. We were about to hit an island, he swerved, and I said, “pull over man.”
It’s like 10:30 PM and we pull over in a business parking lot a few blocks from where I grew up. I turned down the music because for some reason I thought the cops would hear it. I called my brother, “I need you to pick me up.” He said, “Where?” I said, “We’re in a parking lot.” He said, “What? Where?” I said, “there’s a van…and a green tree next to us.” He said, “I don’t know where that is. What the hell are you on?” I got frustrated, “I’m not on anything. There is a white van, a building with a light on, and a tree. Just come get me. I’ll turn up the music so you can hear us.” I didn’t turn up the music. I was so paranoid I stopped eating my tacos because I thought the crunching of the shell was making too much noise.
I don’t know how, but he found us and took us back to his place. Gabe and I start playing pool. He’s double jointed in his shoulders and does this weird trick where he gets a pool cue, goes backwards over his head, under his legs, while holding it with both hands. I forgot he was double jointed and it freaked me out. I thought, “Well, that’s just great. Gabe broke both of his arms because of me and he doesn’t even know it. I’m going to bed.”