Ghetto Car

Back in college, I had a red 1994 Prelude that I would have to spend ten minutes explaining how to work if someone wanted to borrow it.

Don’t roll the right window down all the way or it will get stuck. If it does, use the rubber pliers in the glove compartment to pull it back up halfway, grab it with both hands, and then wiggle it left right as you press the power button. 

Also, don’t change the song too quickly on the CD player at night, or the headlights will short circuit and turn off. 

My car has been stolen three times, so use the club in the back seat to lock the steering wheel. There’s no key to it and it doesn’t actually work, it’s just a visual deterrent.

Most importantly...if you’re stopped at a red light, turn the car off or it will overheat. A little bit of smoke from the engine is natural. If you get fast food do not use the drive-thru, the car will catch on fire from being stopped for a long period of time. 

If it overheats, refrain from panicking, pull over, and add the oil sitting on the passenger seat. The funnel is duct taped to the back of the passenger headrest for easy accessibility.

Last but not least...the car is on empty, so you will need to gas it up.