HELLO, IS MIKE THERE?

I always imagine the worst case scenario in my head. I was bartending and this lady called the bar asking if Mike was working today? I put her on hold, asked a co-worker, and found out he was. As I walked back to the phone I started thinking.  I don't even know who this lady is.  She could be trying to serve him with child support papers.  As soon as I say he's here she shows up and bam!!!! Wage garnishment. Now he has to buy a suit to go to court next week, which puts him in overdraft.

The judge makes him take a drug test that day, he fails, loses custody of three his kids, and his house. Now he's out blowing dudes in the street for change all because I said he was here.

Even worse, maybe I say he's here and she sends some hitman because he was a drug mule and stole twenty kilos. He's just working with me as part of the witness protection program and I just blew his cover.

Now I'm an accomplice to a homicide and I go to prison for the hit. I'll tell you what I'm not getting raped for Mike, you, or anybody....So I said, "Mike ain't here, but who is this?" She replied, "It's his mom." Yeah right, nice cover...he still ain't here.