WAY TOO MUCH COLOGNE THERE BUDDY

A guy at my work walked in the room and I could smell that he had way too much cologne on. This immediately tells me three things about you. One, you don't have a sister that is brutally honest. Two, you never get laid and always talk about it. Three, you 100% sleep with prostitutes.  Actually, the tucked in polo to the jeans gave me number three. 

He's the ...kind of guy that reads magazines for tips on how to pick up women and harasses them in the grocery store.  Look in her cart dumbass, she's taken.  She has tampons which means she's on her period, Bacardi 151 for her abusive boyfriend, and Magnum condoms for the guy she is cheating on him with.  She doesn't care that you have a boat, or that you do crossfit Monday mornings and put whey protein ice cubes in your Long Islands. Keep it moving Seinfeld.