WHY SHOULD I OPEN YOUR DOOR?

I'm not an asshole, but why do men have to open doors for women? You have arms, consider yourself lucky. Open the goddamn door. There are women walking around with no arms getting diamond watches for Christmas and cry themselves to sleep. They would love nothing more than to open a door. I'm not sure where these armless women are, maybe Africa? Whatever, they are out there. I'm onto women- they don't have to cook, open doors, or use hammers.

Don't worry, I actually looked this up and in medieval times men use to let the women go through doors first to avoid assassination attempts on their own lives. So back in the day, I open a door for you and some guy yells, "Traitor!" and shoots you in the neck with an arrow. So in theory, if I let a door slam in your face as I walk through first...your welcome I just saved your life.